What’s your type? How to perfect your communication skills to get ahead at work

If you want to go far in your career, you need to be a brilliant communicator (that’s why it’s included as a required skill in pretty much every job description, ever).

We all have slightly different communication styles, but there are four main categories. When you can identify both your own style and someone else’s, you can tailor the way you communicate to connect with the person and direct the conversation in your favour.

Here are the four main types of communicator, and how to interact with each.

Passive Communicators

AKA: people pleasers.

Spot them in the wild: avoiding eye contact, apologising for no reason, on mute in every meeting.

The good stuff: generally easy-going and pleasant to speak to.

The bad stuff: inability to say no, find it difficult to express themselves which can lead to resentment or outbursts.

Look out for: not telling you that they need support, misunderstandings due to being reluctant to ask questions.

Master the communication: figure out how the passive communicator feels most comfortable interacting (it will most likely be either in writing or in a one-on-one setting), ask them direct questions and allow them adequate time to think, and ask for their opinions to show them that it’s okay to speak up.

Aggressive Communicators

AKA: the loud one.

Spot them in the wild: you don’t need to, you’ll hear them before you see them.

The good stuff: confident and not afraid to speak their mind.

The bad stuff: speaking before they think, can intimidate other team members.

Look out for: interrupting other members of the team, dominating meetings.

Master the communication: maintain a calm demeanor and don’t be afraid to challenge them just because they shout the loudest. Maintain control of the situation by calmly but firmly moving on from any irrelevant comments. Don’t accept inappropriate behaviour or language.

Passive-Aggressive Communicators

AKA: probably giving you the silent treatment

Spot them in the wild: making sarcastic comments and muttering under their breath about how nothing would get done in this place if it weren’t for them

The good stuff: honestly, not a lot. They combine the worst qualities of both passive and aggressive communicators, hence the name

The bad stuff: can be manipulative and undermine you despite appearing to agree with you.

Look out for: sniping about other team members, saying one thing but doing another.

Master the communication: the best approach here is to be direct and call out negative behaviour. Make sure any instructions or feedback you provide are crystal clear and can’t be misconstrued. Ask for their opinion to show them that they have power and autonomy in the situation.

Assertive Communicators

AKA: quiet confidence.

Spot them in the wild: collaborating well with others, sharing thoughts and opinions without being aggressive.

The good stuff: they make colleagues feel comfortable and are confident in their ideas without having to shout over others.

The bad stuff: nothing, really. Can intimidate or annoy those who don’t feel able to voice their thoughts as confidently.

Look out for: areas where they may be being stifled or unable to make the most of their potential.

Master the communication: continue to encourage them to share their feedback, ideas and opinions, be honest and direct.

The good news is that you can absolutely change your communication style with practice. I’ve gone from a very passive communicator to an asssertive communicator in the last couple of years by stretching my comfort zone when it comes to speaking up and building my confidence.

What’s your communication style?